I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
