Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
