I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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