Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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