im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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