yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
