Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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