sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
