so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
