so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
