You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
