made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
