fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
