I want to have your abortion
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
