Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
