after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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