Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
