I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
