I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
