glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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