if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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