I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
