i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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