I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
