I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
