Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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