I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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