I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
