Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
