There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
