My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
