Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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