When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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