this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
