I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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