Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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