It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have fence marks all over my body
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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