operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
