You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
