you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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