she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
