I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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