Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm getting married
To pizza
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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