week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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