Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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