I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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