Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
