Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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