dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
