omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
