Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I got inside last night via doggy door
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
